


Yesterday, Tomorrow

by onewgiri



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: ChanSoo Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 08:40:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11249586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewgiri/pseuds/onewgiri
Summary: Yesterday, Chanyeol was there to kiss Kyungsoo’s worries away. Today, Kyungsoo sings a song on his way to his and Chanyeol's wedding. Tomorrow, Kyungsoo will open new doors Chanyeol has opened for him.





	Yesterday, Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> -In celebration of the 6th day of #chansooweek  
> -The time references might be a little tricky.  
> but always remember that my basis is today everytime i speak of the number of yesterdays and tomorrows.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo was a mixture of stressed and overwhelmed as the pressure from his boss transformed him into a man with a shaky knees and even shakier voice. Junmyeon was not easy to please, he never was, but Kyungsoo has always been able to satisfy him for the past four years in this work. However, this time, Jongin’s efforts of sabotaging him has finally paid off, and all his years of hard work go down the drain. Kyungsoo was surprised to find himself as the object of Junmyeon’s wrath. After one hundred things he did right, the one thing he did wrong will always weigh heavier. Kyungsoo packed his things and departed the office after leaving a white envelope on Junmyeon’s desk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo quitted his job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo drank his worries away in his favorite soju spot a few blocks away from their home, thoughts such as tomorrow scaring the life out of him. Unlike Chanyeol, Kyungsoo has to constantly work to keep rice in his table. He was bothering the store ahjumma for another bottle of soju he would regret ordering later when Chanyeol enters the store, all toothy smiles and good looks, completely unaware of the hardships of the world. The man just came various appointments to complete his requirements for the new job he was applying for.

As soon as Chanyeol took the seat beside Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo started with all his rants:

_Jongin is a fucking—fuck! I hate him, oh god._

_Junmyeon is an idiot for letting someone like me go._

_I’ve dedicated four years of my life to get his hate?_

_I don’t regret it. No. I’ve always wanted to leave that toxic work place anyway._

_Oh god, won’t Junmyeon come and plead me to go back?_

Chanyeol listened to all of it attentively as he took a sip from his own bottle of soju. He and Kyungsoo never bothered with shot glasses anyway.

Kyungsoo didn’t know how he got to their shared apartment that night. He assumed Chanyeol must have carried him in his back since he felt like floating on their way home. He just finished throwing up, hugging the toilet seat, when Chanyeol knocks on the bathroom door, even though it was open, and kneeled right there and then, a tiny black box in hand.

Kyungsoo’s mind was still in a blur, his right hand still gripping on the toilet seat to support himself when he turned to Chanyeol, but he was already sober, mind completely aware that a ring was inside when Chanyeol opened the tiny black box.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two yesterdays ago, Chanyeol proposed to Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo said yes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo was a mixture of stressed and overwhelmed with their wedding coming up in exactly twenty-three days, and the number of things to prepare seems to grow as the number of day decreases. Mrs. Park wanted it grand— all their relatives from U.S. were coming home for this, even Chanyeol’s sister, Yura, who have migrated to Japan— and Kyungsoo hadn’t said anything because it was her who was going to pay for the expenses anyway. He stuffed the lasts set of taste-test foods into his mouth and tried not to throw up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo wandered around their shared apartment, pulling out whatever object he can fumble with to distract him from the boredom of having to wait for Chanyeol from his work at the bar. He never really had to worry about this when he had a job, Kyungsoo always arrived with Chanyeol already at home, waiting for Kyungsoo to snuggle with him on the couch. He didn’t notice until now how the hours without Chanyeol can feel so long when he doesn’t have a job to distract him.

In his search for a distraction, he found a photo album of him and Chanyeol back in highschool. He flipped through the pages, a smile on his face, and recollected the stories behind every photo. There was a photo where Kyungsoo was hugging Chanyeol by the neck, lips almost kissing Chanyeol’s ears, while Chanyeol hid his face with his hand, his skin a strong shade of red. Kyungsoo recalled that it was after he almost choked Chanyeol as a punishment in one of their petty games, whispering apologies to Chanyeol’s ears. There’s also one where Chanyeol kneeled on the stage, offering a flower to Kyungsoo right after they performed a duet for their school festival. Kyungsoo had been embarrassed then, but Chanyeol insisted the act for the impact. There’s also one where Chanyeol was hugging him from behind, arms holding Kyungsoo’s as he made him dance to Gangnam Style in one of the local festivals they’ve attended.

Kyungsoo smiled as he flipped through every page. Chanyeol had been good as a best friend. He was a presence that Kyungsoo took granted for back in college, back when they were other things he was pre-occupied with. Still, Chanyeol stayed with him through his most crucial times, through all his heartbreaks and downfalls, and Kyungsoo was nothing but grateful that Chanyeol had stayed, that Chanyeol took the courage to grab his heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo woke up in the couch in the middle of the living room with Chanyeol sitting at the side of the sofa, staring down at him. There was intensity in his eyes, and in his half-asleep state, Kyungsoo tried to read the emotions they portray— _worry? fear?_ Chanyeol had always been good at reading Kyungsoo, but Kyungsoo can never really tell the things that run in Chanyeol’s mind, despite his seemingly easy personality. Chanyeol smiled weakly and brushed the sweat in Kyungsoo’s forehead away.

Chanyeol ate dinner with Kyungsoo watching him from the seat across. The meal was already cold, having been prepared an hour ago, but Chanyeol devoured them like it was the best meal he’s ever had. He casually informed Kyungsoo that he backed out from his job application because he realized that he wanted to stay in the band after all. Economically speaking, it probably wasn’t the best idea—they’ve got bills to pay and were about to start their own family— but Kyungsoo nodded his head, admiring how Chanyeol always knew where his heart is, when Kyungsoo had always had a hard time figuring his own.

They were about to sleep, lying down on Chanyeol’s bed, when Chanyeol asked Kyungsoo if everything was too fast. Kyungsoo was confused so he asked what Chanyeol meant, and Chanyeol asked if he’d like to move the wedding.

Kyungsoo answered, _No, but I would appreciate if it is much simpler._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three yesterdays ago, Chanyeol messaged his mother to change all the wedding arrangements.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sixteen yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo applied for a job at several accounting firms. However, luck was not in his side as each one of them asked why he quitted his first two jobs and Kyungsoo couldn’t come up with a good excuse, both his reasons being ridiculous and impulsive. He walked his way home with heavy shoulders and an even heavier sigh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sixteen yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo came home with Junmyeon waiting by his doorstep, eyes red and hair dishevelled, a wedding invitation in hand. Kyungsoo tried to act casual and ask, what’s up, but when he walked towards Junmyeon, the guy suddenly cracked into tears and hugged him.

_Please come back to the office, Kyungsoo. No, to me. Please come back to me._

Kyungsoo remembered just how many times they hugged like these, but with smiles instead of tears and frowns. Junmyeon was his senior from college, a man he was so in love with that he quit his perfectly good job to work for him, a man he thought was a constant in his life. But came fall of three years ago and Junmyeon was breaking up with Kyungsoo for reasons still unknown until today. It was three years ago when Junmyeon became a variable in Kyungsoo’s life.

Kyungsoo broke free from the hug and Junmyeon almost kneeled to beg, but Kyungsoo was quick to pull him up. He accused Kyungsoo of doing all of this for revenge, of going out with Chanyeol in vengeance, but as Kyungsoo looked into his heart, he found that Chanyeol was there, camping permanently inside. He doesn’t even know when he barged in in the first place, or if he was there all along. Kyungsoo smiled and told Junmyeon that the three years he spent with Chanyeol was nothing but genuine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sixteen yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo broke Junmyeon’s heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo wandered the streets of Gangnam, a newspaper in hand. He applied for seven firms so far, yet none of them had shown any sign of hiring him. In his frustration, he considered a change of career— accounting was not his passion anyway, it’s just a random thing he picked when he was asked to choose something he’d like to do, only to realize there’s none.

 _Ah_ , Chanyeol was lucky. Back then, he knew he wanted to do music. He knew what he’d love doing for the rest of his life. And maybe, at the bottom of his heart, Kyungsoo would have chosen music, too. Had it been enough to pay his sister’s tuition fees, maybe he would still be a member of the band they built in college.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven yesterdays ago, Chanyeol welcomed Kyungsoo home by wrapping a red scarf around Kyungsoo’s neck, even though it was still summer and they were indoors. Kyungsoo laughed heartily but removed it anyway, sweat already starting to build up around his neck. He asked what the scarf was for, and Chanyeol only smiled and answered _so I always keep you warm._

And Kyungsoo had a lot of problems— he was turned down by seven firms, he’s been jobless for the past twenty-five days, he couldn’t send money to his mother and he wanted to spend for his own wedding too— but Chanyeol and his smile, _that freaking smile_ , washes his worries away as his tall groom-to-be wrapped the scarf around him one more time, stepping back to see how it looks on him.

And Kyungsoo was a mess— he knew he was— hair dishevelled and skin sticky with sweat, a little pale from all the walking that drained him, but Chanyeol told him he looks good on it anway, that he looks good in anything, and that he wished for winter to come fast just to see Kyungsoo use it. Kyungsoo responded by saying not to rush because he liked summer, and they’ll have lots of winter together anyway.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven yesterdays ago, Chanyeol’s kisses were Kyungsoo’s lullabies.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three yesterdays ago, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo visited Kyungsoo’s mom at their house in Gyeonggi-do, gifts and baskets of fruit in hand. Kyungsoo had said that it was not necessary— his mom would understand— but Chanyeol had insisted that it was only right to give gifts to the one who gave birth to a beautiful creature such as Kyungsoo, to the one who made it possible that he would exist and meet Chanyeol.

They were sitting on the tatami floors of Mrs. Do’s living room, drinking traditional tea his mother had served them. Chanyeol was cutting apples for Kyungsoo when Mrs. Do who was just watching them a few seconds ago, suddenly burst into tears, surprising the couple.

_I wish you two will live happily together for a long, long time._

Kyungsoo almost felt his tears coming out as he watched his mother suddenly hugging Chanyeol, his tall man obviously astounded, putting the fruit knife away so he wouldn’t harm her. She thanked her for all the things he did for Kyungsoo, some Kyungsoo knew of and some he didn’t:

_Thank you for loving my son._

_Thank you for staying by my son’s side when I couldn’t._

_Thank you for explaining his situation to me when he couldn’t._

_Thank you for cutting apples for him._

There were a lot and many more things that were thanked for, but Kyungsoo didn’t hear it anymore as he noticed Chanyeol who started crying in her arms as well, hugging her tightly. They both thanked each other continuously— Chanyeol for all things Kyungsoo, Mrs. Do for all things Kyungsoo — none of them actually receiving the gratitude that they continuously expressed. When they pulled apart, Kyungsoo brought a smile back to their faces by teasingly saying _you should have done that on our wedding._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three yesterdays ago, Kyungsoo woke up in the middle of the night with the left side of the bed empty. Kyungsoo leaned across the bed and checked the floor— Kyungsoo couldn't count the number of nights Chanyeol moved too much and fell down— but he was not there, nor is he in any corner of the room. Kyungsoo stood up and headed outside.

He found Chanyeol in the kitchen, scribbling quietly with his eyebrows furrowed, a bunch of stationaries at his side. Upon noticing Kyungsoo’s footsteps, Chanyeol was quick to put the papers away.

 _Writing songs?_ Kyungsoo asked, and Chanyeol nodded his head with an awkward laugh. Kyungsoo always knew how Chanyeol didn’t want anyone to see him while in the process of writing.

Kyungsoo left the kitchen after preparing milk for Chanyeol, wondering if Chanyeol needs a new stack of music sheets.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day before yesterday, Chanyeol took Kyungsoo to his band practice. Nostalgia kicked in as Kyungsoo walked inside the bar where most of his college days were spent.

Jongdae, their guitarist and vocal, welcomed Kyungsoo with a hug. Yixing, their pianist, followed closely. Then he saw Baekhyun, their main vocal, the one who took the place Kyungsoo left, walking towards them, waving at Kyungsoo before welcoming Chanyeol with their own version of a fist bump.

It would be a lie to say Kyungsoo had never been jealous of Baekhyun and how fondly Chanyeol talked about the vocalist, but as Yixing gave him a pat in the back, he was reminded of constant reassurance from Yixing that there was nothing to worry about, that Baekhyun actually had the hots for Jongdae, and that Chanyeol loved Kyungsoo more than anything in this world.

 They played two songs they claim to dedicate to the soon to be wed— acoustic because they insisted Chanyeol to watch with Kyungsoo instead of playing the drums. After a few shots of soju which Chanyeol had declined because of a headache, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol waved their friends goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day before yesterday, Kyungsoo cuddled with Chanyeol in Chanyeol’s bed, talking about the yesterdays they’ve spent together and the tomorrows they have yet to share.

Chanyeol kept talking about yesterdays, about that one time they were just best friends— high school friends who ride the same train home, college students who shared apartments, two friends finding comfort in each other despite the constant obstacles of the adult world.

Kyungsoo, on the other hand, kept talking about tomorrows, about their honeymoon, about how many kids they would adopt, _will we stay in our apartment? should we move out? Daegu seems like a nice place._ Kyungsoo got lost on all his hopes and dreams while Chanyeol listened to each of them. It was weird, because thirty-two yesterdays ago, the thought of tomorrows scared Kyungsoo to his bones, but with Chanyeol beside him, tomorrows were something to look forward to.

When asked why he wouldn’t give his opinion, Chanyeol only smiled and said whatever Kyungsoo wanted was what he wanted as well, and that _being with you is enough._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, Kyungsoo woke up with Chanyeol staring at him from his side of the bed, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. When asked where his thoughts were running, what Chanyeol said almost broke Kyungsoo’s heart.

_Do you want to cancel the wedding?_

His sleepiness was suddenly replaced with panic upon hearing Chanyeol’s words. _Why? Do you not love me anymore? Do I bore you now?_ For all his failed relationships, Kyungsoo had lost confidence of his self and his worth of being kept.

Chanyeol shook his head and told Kyungsoo that he loves him, God, so much. But he was afraid, he was afraid that he won’t make Kyungsoo happy, that he won’t be able to give Kyungsoo the life he deserved. He just wanted Kyungsoo to live a long, happy life.

Chanyeol was in the middle of saying stupid things like _maybe Junmyeon could make you happier_ when Kyungsoo suddenly leaned in for a kiss.

When Chanyeol had calmed down, Kyungsoo pulled away and lifted Chanyeol’s face with his hands to make their eyes meet. He told Chanyeol his answer through his eyes.

A crease on Chanyeol’s forehead appeared.

_What if I end up hurting you?_

Kyungsoo smiled and hugged Chanyeol.

_Even if you end up hurting me tomorrow, I’d still marry you today._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday, Chanyeol brought Kyungsoo to the beach of Gangwon-do, Chanyeol’s favorite coastal area in South Korea— a place more peaceful and quiet than the crowded beaches of Busan. It was a little far, a good three hours from Seoul, and usually Kyungsoo would refuse the long rides, but with Chanyeol, every second spent was worth it.

They were walking by the beach, hands intertwined together, continuing their talk about tomorrows. Kyungsoo decided to adopt two children— one boy and one girl— perhaps five years after their marriage. He wanted to spend their honeymoon here, in a place overlooking the vast sea to remind them that there is still so much more out there for the two of them to explore.

Kyungsoo nudged Chanyeol at his sides, not used to Chanyeol who’s only quietly listening. Usually, Chanyeol was the one to talk too much while Kyungsoo was the one in charge of lending his ears to him, but Kyungsoo was surprised to see their positions changed in the past few days. Chanyeol shrugged it off by saying he likes listening to Kyungsoo’s voice.

At the end of the beach, Kyungsoo saw a wedding arch and a red carpet facing the sea. He rolled his eyes around, searching for any sign of other people, but found none. When he looked back to Chanyeol, the guy was already holding a bouquet of flower in his hand.

_We’re getting married._

Kyungsoo almost thought that it was a surprise wedding— that Chanyeol set it a day earlier than he thought it would be— but as Chanyeol played both the wedding officiant and the groom role, Kyungsoo realized it’s all an act and laughed his heart out as he compliantly walked down the aisle.

 _Do you, Park Chanyeol, take this beautiful and flawless creature, Do Kyungsoo, as your husband and commit to love him forever until— beyond your death?_ Chanyeol asked in a voice deeper than his usual, before he answered in his normal voice, _I do._

This time, still in his normal voice, Do you, _Do Kyungsoo, take this too large and imperfect being, Park Chanyeol, who probably won’t make you happy as much as you expected, but promised to love you and only you— as your husband and commit to love him forever until your death?_

Kyungsoo chuckled at that and then answered, _I do._

And the actual ceremony was still sixteen hours away, but Kyungsoo kissed Chanyeol the way he reserved only for their wedding, the most passionate than he ever did for the past three years. They’ve already said their vows, anyway.

In their own little universe, they had already married each other right then and there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Kyungsoo wakes up to find a notification from Seoul City Hall of the approval of their marriage. Two hours prior to their wedding ceremony, he’s become Chanyeol’s legal husband. Instinctively, he nudges sideways with his elbows, only to find the space beside him empty.

 _Ah_ , Chanyeol slept at his mom’s last night, insisting about a folktale that prohibits a couple to see each other the night before their wedding. Kyungsoo almost sulked, but he decided not to since Mrs. Park probably wants to be with her son too.

Kyungsoo texts Chanyeol a brief, _I miss you_ , and proceeds to the kitchen to prepare his breakfast.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, Kyungsoo hums to himself while he fixes his hair, wedding suit already wrapped around neatly his body. An hour from now, Kyungsoo will walk the aisle together with Chanyeol, surrounded by an intimate crowd of family and friends. Chanyeol's family will be there, from his grandfather down to his cousins, while only his mother and little sister will be there to represent Kyungsoo's family, plus some of their friends from high school and college— Yixing, Jongdae, Baekhyun, their sunbae Ryewook—only a few, but they will be enough, for they are the ones that really matter to Kyungsoo anyway.

As he locks the door of their shared apartment, Kyungsoo realizes that he has yet to see their wedding rings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, as Kyungsoo rides a taxi to his way to the wedding hall, he receives a call from Yura. He picks it up, giddy and excited, not expecting what she first says:

_Chanyeol’s gone._

With his mind in a complete haze and his heart sinking in his chest, Yura, in her shaky voice, tells him the address of the hospital they are in, and that it was sudden, that they didn’t know, too. She tells Kyungsoo that he should calm down and arrive safely. She repeats the words calm down as she drops the call, even though it was evident in her voice that she too, is shaken.

 _Calm down._ How the fuck is Kyungsoo supposed to do that?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, a doctor explains it to Kyungsoo how his world fell and ended. It was a rupture in his brain, causing sudden death. He said that his brain had been swelling for a long time, that it was a shame it wasn’t detected earlier, then maybe he could have been saved. Yura is standing beside him, holding his hand, while Mrs. Park is crying in the bench at the corner of the hallway, Chanyeol’s aunt supporting her so she wouldn’t faint. There were a lot of medical jargons that were said— aneurysm or whatnot— but Kyungsoo could not understand the doctor’s words anymore as all he could decipher right now is that Chanyeol is gone, that Chanyeol had left him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today, in his wedding suit, Kyungsoo receives the words _I’m so sorry for your loss_ for the first time in his life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow, Kyungsoo will stay tucked in his bed, forcing his self to sleep some more in the hopes of everything being just a dream. _Please, just be a dream._ Tears will fall and hearts will break over and over again each time he will realize that it is reality, that tomorrow, Chanyeol is no more.

Yura will call him to attend Chanyeol’s funeral, but Kyungsoo wouldn’t be able find the strength to see Chanyeol in ashes. He will refuse and apologize for not being to help. Yura will tell him that it’s alright, that his mother and sister are helping in his stead. Jongdae will call him, too, offering to come by and cook for him, but Kyungsoo will refuse. A lot of other friends and relatives will call, including Junmyeon, but Kyungsoo will purposely miss it, wanting to hear only one person’s voice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow, Kyungsoo’s heart will break a thousand more times.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day after tomorrow, Kyungsoo will attend Chanyeol’s funeral with Jongdae and Yixing by his side. Mrs. Park will be the first to hug Kyungsoo, crying tears she thought she had already drained empty, and Kyungsoo will not cry, eyes directed at Chanyeol’s photo at the altar. For a gloomy ceremony such as funeral, they will pick a photo where Chanyeol’s smile is bright.

 

 

 

 

 

The day after tomorrow, Yura will give Kyungsoo a tiny black box and tight hug. She will assure him everything will be alright but as Kyungsoo listen to her voice shaking, he will not be sure if Yura is reassuring him or herself.

Kyungsoo will open the box later at home and will find two rings inside. It will be sound wave rings, and Kyungsoo will remember how Chanyeol always fancied about it since their first months together, how he wanted to engrave their voices saying I do in their fingers. Kyungsoo had only laughed then, the thought of marrying Chanyeol still a vague idea to him.

He will wonder how Chanyeol got it, if Kyungsoo ever said the words before their supposed-to-be wedding. Then he will remember that day on the beach, where they’ve already said their vows, only for the sea, the sky, and the two of them to hear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The day after tomorrow, Kyungsoo will shed another sea of tears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three tomorrows from now, Chanyeol’s ashes will be placed in their hometown in Gyeonggi-do, on the sixth hall on the third floor of the provincial columbarium. Kyungsoo will not shed a tear as he placed Chanyeol behind a thick glass. Instead, he will leave Chanyeol’s wedding ring with him and will tell him for the umpteenth time:

_I do._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seven tomorrows from now, Baekhyun will ring the doorbell of Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s shared apartment. Kyungsoo will be surprised— there will be nothing for them to talk about; their only connection was Chanyeol— but Kyungsoo will welcome him anyway.

Kyungsoo will apologize for only being able to offer water— he will forget to do his groceries— and Baekhyun will shake his head and bring out a blue shoe box from his big sports bag, setting it to the table. He will open it and show Kyungsoo its contents: a variety of winter things such as gloves, mittens, ear muffs, sweater, and scarfs. Baekhyun will tell him that these are all from Chanyeol, for Kyungsoo, that Chanyeol made him keep it without saying a reason.

_He must have known, didn’t he?_

And Kyungsoo will be able to swallow his tears for at least five days, but seven tomorrows from now, he will allow himself to cry again, leaning into Baekhyun because even a little support from someone doesn’t even know well can help him to carry on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sixteen tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo will find letters while cleaning their apartment. The letters will be tucked under Chanyeol’s bed, somewhere you don’t check daily but will eventually find. They will be in white and blue envelopes and colourful stationaries that will look familiar.

They will be the stationaries Chanyeol scribbled on three yesterdays ago.

One of the letters, dated June 10, thirty-two yesterdays ago, will read:

 _Hey. I don’t know why I’m writing this, honestly. Maybe, I’m scared._  
_You know how we need a medical record for the job I was applying for, right?_  
_I went to the doctor and had a check-up today. It turns out I had a swelling in my brain_  
_I think it’s called brain aneurysm, or something._  
_It will be okay once I get a surgery though._  
_It will be okay, right?_

 _I’m sorry I still proposed to you even with this threat to my life._  
_Was I too selfish?_  
_I hope I can make you happy for a long, long time._

Another letter, dated June 19, twenty-three yesterdays ago, will read:

 _It turns out it was too late for a surgery._  
_I don’t have a lot of time left._  
_I’m fine, but I don’t want to hurt you._  
_What am I going to do?_

And there will be more letters from sixteen, seven, and three yesterdays ago. They will be about the gifts he hid with Baekhyun. Chanyeol will tell him the exact things that he put inside the box, because Baekhyun happen to like the mittens. Not that he didn’t trust Baekhyun, but just in case. He will tell Kyungsoo to wear the gloves when he wants to hold his hand, to wear the sweater and scarf when he wants a hug, and to wear the earmuffs if he wants to hear his whisper. They will be things to keep Kyungsoo warm when Chanyeol couldn’t.

One of them will ask Kyungsoo:

_Had you known I will leave you, would you still say ‘I do’?_

And Kyungsoo will nod his head as his answer. Had Kyungsoo known that he can only be Chanyeol’s husband for two hours, he’d still want to marry him.

Some letters will talk about Chanyeol’s random stories for that day, and Chanyeol will tell him that there are more stories on the letters on the blue envelope. He will warn him though, to read the letters little by little, perhaps once a year on his birthdays or when he’s especially missing Chanyeol too much, so he won’t run out of them because Chanyeol still wants to tell Kyungsoo stories for the stretch of his lifetime.

The letter written the day before yesterday will read:

 _Yesterday, you talked about tomorrows._  
_I’m glad you look forward to it._  
_Keep looking forward, Kyungsoo._  
_And forgive me if all I can offer is my yesterdays._  
_Because in one of your tomorrows, I might not be there._

Finally, the letter from yesterday will read:

 _My headaches become worse every day._  
_I know my time is soon,_  
_So I wanted to marry you as soon as I can._  
_Afterall, I’m not sure until when I will keep receiving the gift of tomorrows_  
_I hope, atleast until tomorrow, when I get to marry you for the second time._

_Second time, because we got married today, okay?_

_I love you._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three tomorrows from now on, Mrs. Park and Yura will visit Kyungsoo in his apartment, grocery bags in their hands. Kyungsoo will shyly accept their gifts, fully aware of his empty fridge. They will ask him how he’s doing and he will answer honestly, _not very well_ , but they will laugh because, well, they will feel the same.

Mrs. Park will tell Kyungsoo how Chanyeol always declined being in charge of their family business— they have a restaurant which has three franchises— and how he always said Kyungsoo will do good on managing it. Their apgujeong branch has in fact just finished renovated, she will say, just as Chanyeol had wanted it to be, with a stage for performances on the center, for it was meant to be her wedding gift for the two.

And Kyungsoo will get flustered by the idea of managing one of their restaurants— technically, he _is_ Chanyeol’s husband, but only for two hours— but Mrs. Park will wave that off and tell Kyungsoo that he’s always been a part of their family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo will hesitantly linger by the door of the bar where Chanyeol used to work, wearing the scarf Chanyeol gave him even though the temperature will be high outside. Jongdae will spring out of nowhere, shocking the life out of Kyungsoo, and will drag him over to come inside, where Baekhyun and Yixing will be waiting with a smile. Twenty-three tomorrows from now on, Kyungsoo will already have read two of Chanyeol’s thirty two letters, and one of them will say that he would be happy if Kyungsoo will join the band, if he will start doing the things that he love. Jongdae, Baekhyun, and Yixing’s warm welcome will make him wonder if they’ve known.

Chanyeol once told Kyungsoo how good Baekhyun and Kyungsoo’s voice might sound if put together, and Kyungsoo will prove that once he’s standing on the stage with Chanyeol’s band, voice blending with Baekhyun’s own as they sing to one of Chanyeol’s compositions.

It will feel weird, because the song will seem to have been written exactly for this purpose.

And they will have to adjust, there will be no drummer and Kyungsoo wasn’t good in any instrument, but Yixing, Jongdae, and Baekhyun will warmly welcome Kyungsoo into joining anyway. They will try to shift arrangements with Yixing on the drums and Baekhyun on the piano, and Jongdae will offer to teach Kyungsoo the guitar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twenty-three tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo will join Chanyeol’s band.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo will read another letter from the blue envelope, leaving him with twenty-nine letters left. It will be extremely hard not to open the letters all at once, but Kyungsoo will be able to control his self. However, thirty-two tomorrows from now on, Kyungsoo will shed another sea of tears once he remembers that Chanyeol asked for his hand for marriage, thirty-two yesterdays ago.

The letter will be about that time they were casted in Snow White during junior highschool— Kyungsoo as Prince, and Chanyeol as Snow white. It was always a struggle to pull of romantic plays in an all-boys school since no one wants to cross dress as a delicate and fine lady, but Chanyeol was the very first to actually volunteer himself into the role. Kyungsoo was the other candidate to be snow white— the whole class claimed he would fit the role— but Chanyeol insisted that he wanted the role and to have Kyungsoo as the Prince instead.

The letter will talk about the process and struggles of preparing for the play, and Kyungsoo will smile with all the memories rushing back to him, proving how effective Chanyeol’s letters will be.

Then, at the bottom end of the letter, Kyungsoo will see Chanyeol’s scribbles:

_P.S. Why did you kiss me during the last show of the play, when you’ve always smoothly faked it?_

Then Kyungsoo will remember Chanyeol’s shocked face when he pulled away after actually executing what should have been a fake kiss, ears red and eyes wide with a hand in his mouth. He was supposed to hug Kyungsoo, as per the script, but he was too shocked for his mind to function. Thankfully the curtains closed immediately.

And it was weird, because back then, even Kyungsoo didn’t know why he did that.

But thirty-two tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo will realize that he might have been the one who first fell for Chanyeol.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo will pause at the door of Viva Polo, Chanyeol’s mom’s restaurant, as he takes a deep breath. He’ll still be broken, still in the process of putting his pieces back together, but with Chanyeol’s letters, his family and friends that he all gave to Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo will be able to drag himself towards the doors Chanyeol had opened for him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two tomorrows from now, Kyungsoo’s band members will be preparing at the stage once he enters the restaurant.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thirty-two tomorrows from now, Baekhyun will welcome him their newly-formed own version of a fist bump.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hellooooooo  
> it's my first time here in ao3 lol  
> i'm probably gonna stop posting on my lj bc i realized the ficdom has somehow migrated in here or in dreamwidth?  
> I'd still keep my lj tho i guess  
> ciao~


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